You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
