This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
