Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
