I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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