Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
