I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
