I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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