I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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