I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
