drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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