dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
