Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize