Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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