All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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