insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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