Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
