You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
how does that bad decision feel?
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