I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
