I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
