Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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