I want to walk on stilts...naked
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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