My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
