I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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