If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
