when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
