A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
