wakey wakey hands off snakey
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize