i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
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