I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
