i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
