my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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