She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
