I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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