Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
