I forgot how hot balto sounded
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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