WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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