Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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