The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize