i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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