if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
