Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
