Buhtt sex?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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