i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
