Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
