I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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