I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My breasts were aching with rage.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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