Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
birth control should be required to get into college
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
