the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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