its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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