Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
