I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
