is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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