just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
