This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
