he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
