You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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