i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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