You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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