we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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