Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
