The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
