i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
