There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He's a Shit stain on my heart
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
