I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
