And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
