Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize