weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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