she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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