He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm always down for nudity.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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