how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
