That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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