I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
